Scrolling Tiktok is NOT self-care.
Why doomscrolling on your phone is bad for your wellbeing & 4 cup-filling activities you can do instead that require almost zero brain power.
I know what it’s like to be beyond exhausted.
Where you can’t even keep your eyes open, they’re so tired.
That you try to fill all of your free time with things that make you feel productive like creating content, folding laundry, or even getting a workout in.. all stuff that makes you feel like “yeah.. I’m DOING it!”
But..
By the end of the day, you’re so tired you can’t even think straight.
So what do you do?
Scroll TikTok on your phone as a way to “unwind”.
Let me first give you some stats on why this is a big no no (and then what to do instead):
Active screen time overstimulates the brain which can lead to: problems sleeping (which is very important for your wellness), and can lead to higher dress levels and depressive symptoms.
Yikes.
Also, according to a study from Harvard Health Publishing, doomscrolling can actually send our nervous systems into a spiral and can literally put us in a state or fight or flight, not to mention..
..doom scrolling is also linked to worse mental wellbeing and life satisfaction.
I KNOW you want to just turn your brain off at the end of the day because you are tired and it FEELS good to just not have to think for a while but..
..you might not even realize how horrible doomscrolling is making you feel, especially if what you’re scrolling isn’t actually leading to the release of dopamine (the happy hormone).
Think about it this way:
Sometimes, I like to scroll TikTok cuz I LOOOOOVE to laugh my booty off.
And *most* of my TikTok feed is all funny momtok stuff that has me howling and saying, “THIS IS SO ME!!” *immediately shares to my husband*.
But.. then inevitably, after like 5 good TikTok’s, the next one will be something awful that’s happening in the world that literally makes me feel like we’re living in a dystopian reality where people’s rights are being stripped away from them every 5 seconds and.. you get the idea, and now..
..I feel stressed the fk out.
The next TikTok?
5 types of white I should totally paint my cupboards this spring!
See what I mean?
The content we’re being fed that causes us stress can be SO subtle and it only takes one video.
And because we’re so fast paced, we might not even realize how much the messages we’re being fed are influencing and affecting us.
Another example:
As an online business owner in the coaching space, I follow a lot of other business coaches.
My algorithm feeds me content from business coaches about all the reasons I’m not making $100k months yet in the same way a 65 year old women gets fed content on her Facebook page with headlines like “Saturns rings are disappearing!” (Where of course she reshares it; “Sharon, have you seen this?!”) 😐
I’ve done a great job of curating my feed with creators who make whimsical artwork, share their favourite cozy games and fantasy books, and share their cozy morning routines.. so my feeds bring me more joy than anything.
BUT..
The algorithm still knows I’m a business coach by trade, so they feed me content from other business coaches a LOT thinking, “hey.. we think you might like this content piece about why your messaging sucks and why that’s why you’re a broke ass B from Becky the Biz Coach”.
I can be scrolling through my feed looking at pictures of a drawing of a mouse colouring a picture and telling people not to come over cuz they’re doing arts and crafts
And the next thing I know I’m being told why I’m broke from a business coach who obviously knows better than me and now I just feel like sh*t and I am triggered and spiralling and questioning my every decision up til now..
My nervous system is getting activated.
I’m going into fight mode cuz I need to control something.
I start consuming a bunch of content to help me be better at messaging cuz I obviously suck.
My chest is tight.
My stomach hurts.
I’m grabbing my credit card to buy a $97 course on messaging cuz I obviously need it.
Anyway.. you get the idea.
Doomscrolling leads to anxiety. It’s really that simple.
One day, I can write another post about how to scroll with more intention, but right now, I want to give you some ideas (4 to be exact!) on what you can do instead of doomscroll when you just need to relax, unwind, and turn off your brain.
I like to call these: low energy hobbies for when you’re exhausted (that actually fill your cup):
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Listen to an audiobook or podcast with your eyes closed
The ultimate low energy hobby. You literally get to turn off your brain, close your eyes and rest while doing something for YOU that fills your cup.
Here’s what I want to say about this though:
Please 🙏 no self development podcasts or books.
No “Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins or your fave business podcast on how you can make more money this year.
For the love of all things cozy, GIVE YOUR BRAIN A BREAK!
Listen to ACOTAR or The Fourth Wing or some other TikTok fave that everyone’s been talking about. Let yourself jump on some Cult Classic Lore about fairies or dragons or something that provides a sense of ESCAPISM.
As for podcasts: listen to Pod Meets World or Call Her Daddy or just anything that isn’t listed under business, mental health, or honestly even true crime.
I say no true crime because that can also lead to anxiety. This is coming from a retired true crime lover who’s replaced murder docs with cozier entertainment options. See my last Substack article for info on that.
I suggest podcasts that are more entertaining vs educational because they more or less fit into the cozy hobby sphere.
Look for podcasts under these categories:
Society & Culture
Sports
Comedy
History
Fiction
Arts
TV & Film
Leisure
Music
Books
Play a low-energy, low-stakes game
“But I’m not a gamer”. So? You don’t have to be a gaming pro to get into gaming, especially not what I call COZY games.
Cozy games changed my life during a particularly challenging time of my existence where I felt so burnt out between trying to run my business, manage all my clients, figure out wtf I was doing, be a good mama, keep my marriage strong..
Playing “cozy games” before bed helped me unwind through a different form of escapism than I was used to; it truly helped me heal so much of the problems that had led me to feeling overwhelmed, over stimulated, and burnt-out.
Why cozy games?
“Generally, these titles are all designed to be played at the pace the player wants to go at, with no serious pressure or sensations of danger. They can calm anxieties, reduce heart rate, and lower blood pressure to an extent.”
I also really loved this description of cozy games from happiful.com:
“The atmosphere, the music, the visuals and the gameplay make a game cozy.” Video game artist Dan Francis explains.
A lot of cosy games are focused around small towns or farms, generally with a lot of nature around and a small but welcoming group of characters to interact with. The calming music along with the sounds of chirping birds and crickets, all whilst surrounded by a beautiful natural environment can feel very relaxing.”
Those who embed themselves into this genre of gaming often set themselves up in a cosy setting, lowering the lighting and pulling up a blanket for maximum comfort – mentally and physically.”
I would find these games with such addictive gameplay loops, and for the first time in so long, I was having SO MUCH FUN.
I would find myself so excited for “me time” before bed so I could flick on my Nintendo Switch and just totally get lost in this different world.
I found the gameplay relaxing, soothing, and the most surprising aspect:
My inner child felt like she was being given a big hug.
Cozy gaming is my favourite thing to do because not only does it bring a lot of joy and relaxation, it also reminds me of a time in my life where I didn’t really have a lot of responsibilities and the biggest stressor in my life was maybe an argument I got into with my teenage boyfriend causing me teen anguish.
It reminds me of SIMPLER times.
So unwinding with a cozy game before bed essentially transports me back to a time where my nervous system just felt more relaxed and life felt a lot simpler.
I love that feeling.
My favourite cozy games to get lost in (beginner-friendly!):
Stardew Valley
Disney Dreamlight Valley
Fields of Mistria
Ooblets
The Sims 4
Tiny Glade
Animal Crossing New Horizons
Cozy Grove
Minami Lane
Duck Detective
Tiny Lands
Coffee Talk
Spiritfarer
Don’t have a console?
Mobile games are so fun and Netflix is even jumping on this!!
Here’s some fun game ideas you can get on mobile:
Two Dots (I love their scavenger hunts!!)
Good Pizza Great Pizza
Solitaire (lol)
Sasquatch
Paper Trail
Krispee Street
Cozy Grove
Spiritfarer
Music with purposeful meditation
Sometimes when I’m REALLY tired and don’t have a brain cell to give, one of my favourite ways to slow down, unwind, and relax is to turn on some soft music (I love either soft classical or soft movie score music for this that makes me FEEL something!
You can actually grab my Spotify Playlist for Creativity here for that exact purpose. No opt in required!).
After I’ve chosen my playlist, I put my headphones on, lay down in my cozy bed with my soft, cozy, snuggly blankets and pillows of course, I close my eyes and I just let my mind wander where it wants to wander.
Sometimes, I set an intention to what I want to meditate on and I let my mind go to that place.
It really depends on what my goal is for the meditation.
I usually do this when I need clarity on something but I’m too tired to think.. I find this helps relax me, soothe my nervous system, crack my mind and body wide open, and let the answers come to me just by giving much needed space to my mind.
It’s important to note that when I do this, I also:
✅Set the intention on going to sleep early
✅Keep a notebook nearby for creative brainstorming
✅Just let my mind go where it wants to go and trust in its direction
I often end up getting such a good night sleep after doing this, was able to fill my cup by listening to really inspiring, soft music that fills me up with hope, excitement, but also.. relaxation? And feel extra creative afterwards. It’s really a win win hobby and is perfect for those who fully struggle to rest and relax.
Paint by numbers
To me, a low energy hobby is a hobby where you really don’t have to think too hard.
Of course with paint by numbers, you need to have like 15% energy to do it so if you’re looking for a relaxing way to wind down at the end of a busy day but still use a litttttllllleeeeee bit of creativity and brain power, paint by numbers is a great option.
All you need to do is go to a craft store like Michael’s, or even Walmart, target, or even just to an online store like Amazon, and pick up a paint by numbers set that you really like.
Paint by numbers literally tells you what paint colour goes where so you don’t need to be Van Gogh to make something beautiful. The outline is already done!
The best part is when you’re done your paint by numbers, you can hang up your finished product in the cozy corner you’ve set up in your home.
(Psst.. need inspiration on how to set up a cozy space in your home that acts as a peaceful sanctuary?? Check out my FREE Cozy Living Starter Kit for some fun ideas on how to make your space warmer, more peaceful, and of course.. cozy (without having to spend a ton of money. Cozy spaces on a budget, here here! 🥂)
I hope I’ve given you some good inspiration with this list of 4 ideas on relaxing ways to wind down at the end of a busy day.
I also hope you give one of these a try instead of just scrolling on your phone tonight.
I would love to hear from you if you give one of these a try! Make sure to let me know. Or, if this sparked an idea or a reminder on a different way you can relax at the end of a busy day instead of scrolling on TikTok, let me know what ideas you chose! I’d love to hear about it.
By the way, if you’re looking for creative ways to relax, especially when you have a hard time resting, always feel the need to be productive (working, housework, momming, working out, meal prep, etc) and you want to learn how to do things that are JUST FOR YOU that fill your cup and you’re simply doing because it’s *gasp* fun 🤩..
Make sure to grab my FREE Cozy Living Starter Kit here.
I played video games for basically the first time in my life when the Hogwarts game came out and it was the MOST relaxing activity ever! Now I just have to find another one I like haha!